Here's another one. Thanks for not caring. xoxo Sherri

I don't go out on saturday nights. "Going out" is more of an occupational hazard than anything else for me. But I'm in a particularly transitional moment of my Career, and as a result the Drink has been calling me loudly. I want to Drink and Be Drunk. I want to D and BD in public places with other people most of whom are not my BF or BM.

So it just happened that last nite, all geared up to go to a THE DEADLY SYNDROME show that apparently I had invented in my imagination and wasn't actually ever happening, I had a need to go out and D and BD with my BF [boyf/riend], BM[ban/d/mate] and, if I got lucky, others as well.

First: where to go. Where can one possibly go on a Saturday night if one A) does not like strangers, B) does not appreciate youthful exuberance, C) does not dance, D) hates people? Saturday night in LA means Bridge and Tunnel. Bridge and Tunnel means extreme misanthropic pangs in my gut. But then again, I only live once, so why not be brave and face my fears. So we picked some place downtown. Basically it came to DOWNTOWN Vs. The Valley (no joke) and in that battle Downtown always wins because A) it's dangerous, unknown, and slightly fucked up, and B) R_______ lives there.

My dream plan as the youthfully exuberant lover of dancing with strangers that I am included starting at 2nd and Main (Edison), traversing to 4th & Main (Bar 107) and zigzagging over to 6th and Hope (Library Bar). I could picture it clearly in my mind: limping along drunkenly on my 4 inch heels, best girlfriends in secure arm lock, devil may care, laughing at the homeless and the criminal, basking in our eternal immortality and girlish charms.

That is not my life. My friends are not girls. They are hardly even friends. One of them I live with and we've both pretty much become accustomed to one another to the extent that neither of us really exists in any specific or particular fashion when we are together. My other friend I sort of want to see dead or out of my life or fundamentally changed. Don't get me wrong: I love my BF, and, to a limited extent, my BM, but bar crawling funbunnies they are not. And I will always hold this against them whenever the occassion permits.

BM says nix to my bar crawl idea. Oh to be young again! EDISON has come highly reccommended by a friend who moved from OC to DT and lives on 9th and something-er-other. So that'll be the one place we explore tonight. We swing by my house, pick up my BF the non-entity, and shoot across 7th into the Land of Blahs. (Okay, that;'s not fair, because DT is not the Land of Blahs. It is actually a source of energy and power and R_____ lives there so it's kind of Mecca, but Land of Blahs sounds like Land of Oz, so, eat me.) The old BF thinks we're going to the Bounty, which he likes due to its proximity to our House of Boredom. I say fuck that, I only live once, get in the goddamn car and shut the fuck up.

After circling 4th and Main twice, BM at the wheel, (lovely) bootleg recordings of Parlour on the iPod (I'm one of the only possibly three people in the world who has these, mwah hah hah, the power!), we find a parking lot. $8-- a steal, if you're comparing it to the Sunset Strip (I'm bombing the Sunset Strip next week, incidentally-- will blog here). And what do you know, Edison Bar is just down the alley! Perf! The line is three people thick and at least 30 yards long. All Bridge and Tunnel. This isembarassing. Bridge and Tunnel women always wear high heels and cleavage and clothing too tight for their commonly zoftig figures. Bridge and Tunnel men wish they were Persian and living in Beverly Hills. Who are these
poeple? Where do they come from? How do they know to come here? Are they municipal workers by day? What do they hope to gain? What do I hope to gain? Oh yeah, D and BD.

We run into uur friend who had orig reccommended this place, which looks pretty swanky inside, in spite of the types of humanity to whom it unwittingly plays host. He says they won't let the old BF in cuz he's wearing goddamn sneakers. Alright. I bet R_______ wears sneakers wherever he goes. But then again, R______ wouldn't be caught dead at a place like this on this The Saturday of Nights. I can only imagine as I have no first hand knowledge of R______. For all I know he's already inside, dancing on a table, several B&Ts grinding him simultaneously.

I look over at my BF and it is as if he has shrunk. He is in the process of suffering extreme trauma at the thought of waiting in line with the B&Ts and he is already leaving his body. He is ceasing to exist, and even as I am introducing him to my friend's friends, he is fading away. The he tells me he's gonna have to find a cab. Buck it up, asshole, i say, definitively. BAR 107's not far from here. Mwah hah hah. Let's go there.

We continue down the alley past the legendary SMELL, and I see the hand scrawled "No Alcohol Inside" sign on the door, which seems to imply "Alcohol Outside." Back when I came to shows here there certainly wasn't a swanky B&T type bar sharing this alley way. That's Progress. The BM becomes afraid due to the presence of lively people of color congregating at the door and wants to turn around and take a different route. Um, right. They can Smell fear, fuckface. Why don't you just ask one of them to beat the shit out of you? As a matter of fact, I'll just do it. Bring your face a little closer to my boot. That's it.

The two men in my company, BM and BF respectively, trail some feet behind me, no longer able to lead the expedition due to a genuine Lack of Fucking Trying. So it's up to me to be brave. We pass some calculatedly idle smokers and enter Bar 107 which is labelled with some super-cool-factor misleading sign that says like "Old Time" or "Old Something-er-other." As terrible 80s and 90s music (Groove is in The Fucking Heart) swallows me at the entrance, I start to feel bad for the poeple who used to drink regularly at the "Old Whatever." They have certainly at this late stage of invasive-quasi-hipster-approriation been disenfrachised. As Part of the Problem, I shrug it off and lead the men to the bar, where it takes a solid 7 minutes to get service. I am trying to defeat my own hostility. Sometimes people look at me, and I hope they're not thinking that I suck because I'm in this bar on The Saturday of Nights. I remind myself they, too, are guilty, and collectively we all turn a (judgemental) blind eye.

Fucking Jameson on rocks in hand, I lead the troops into the dance floor. Did you know that Art is only Really Good when it is Extremely Offensive in a Sexual Nature? Only then can it Reveal Truths and Challenge the Status Quo. The fine mural on the wall of the Bar 107 dance floor is no acception, being a depiction of sodomy performed on a strange blonde female-type figurewith extra limbs and breasts. Fuck yeah! This is my kind of place. Right in line with this controversial revelation of male-female relationshiops is a middle-aged lady with some sort of a crew cut and wire rimmed glasses getting her freak on to Bel Biv Devoe. It's like the kind of Bar Mitzvah I imagine is only thrown in Hell. That's ironic because I don't think Jews believe in Hell. I'm not sure though, which I'm pretty sure is fucked up, considering I am half of one. I should ask the BM. He would totally know, being all educated in Hebrew Day School during the formative years.

Beyond the dance floor is a small room with a place for us to sit! Finally my dream of D and BD with people to whom I am overexposed and who slightly bore me will come true. Of course the music in this little room is even louder. The salvation of the room is two things: the random van back jutting from one wall, and the sealed cooler door a la Jurrassic Park Kitchen or The Shining, which inspires a few moments of moderately engaging conversation.

I try to connect with the history of the room, the vibe oozing from walls against which many backs over many years have leaned. But nothing. The Rico Suave is JUST TOO FUCKING LOUD.

We find a flyer on our table, and now can put a clinical name to what we are going through: "Leisure Suite: A 70s vs. 80s Dance Freak Lounge Event." oh the humanity.

The night is saved by the appearance of Other People: CN and AJ, conjured by frantic texts. I tell AJ all I want is an empty fucking place to get drunk and talk to my friends, and she has the answer. While walking to her car, a crazy dude senses BM's fear and hollers, "BOOH!." BM speeds up. I slow down. Fuck fear. Come and get me world! My daddy can hire good doctors and lawyers. Drawing on a wisdom beyond her years, AJ drives us to HANK'S AMERICAN BAR AND GRILL in the bottom floor of the Stillwater Hotel on Grand between 7th and 8th. Perf. Totally divey for real, as in, I can't pinpoint the style genre of any particualr person because each is lost in his own personal fog of obsurity and alienation.

We make our way to the back, which is empty save one artfully tarted-up mannequin lounging casually at a table for two. The bartender, a young lady with two sleeves- sleeves, as in, you know, full arm tattoos, dummies- asks for our IDs and she and I chat world-weary style about DMV wait lines and the hateful B&T. I know I'm going to be happy here. We fill a few styrofoam plates with toxic days-old popcorn and take seats in our relative privacy. The drinks are cheap, and someone else ends up paying for them, which makes them even cheaper. The BF chats animatedly with AJ. BM talks to his friend who had reccommended the Edison Bar (point-loser). And I am stuck with CN. He is evil. Do not engage him [unless you want to write for his website or want him to sell your merch- CN], or do so at your own risk. Fortunately, I too am evil, and so we simmer in each other's outwardly projected self-hatred and insecurity until I feel good and biased towards and against him and have successfully involved him in an immaterial drama, the specifics of which i cannot even begin to enumerate other than to say, "I am crazy." [chill out]

I got what I wanted, bitches. I always get what I want: 2nd/Main, 4th/Main, 6th/Grand. Next time, though, I hink I'll dispense with the whole Saturday night business. I do fully intend to be blotto when my head hits my pillow tonight. I know they do Happy hour all day Sunday at Library Bar. Hmmm. Better text my best girlfriends!

///sl



Bil Bov Dibov Poisons


People Aaron's Bar Mitzvah Montage


Extras Homeless

Labels: bar 107, edison bar, hank's american bar and grill, the deadly syndrome

Last night i went to a show at the Viper Room. the viper room is a place where shows are performed by musical groups. some of my favorite musical groups are the who. when i was a kid my mom was friends with these guys who were in a musical group they were called Blackstreet or something. she had them autograph a cd for me and then she gave it to me. one of the best songs on it was 69 Wayz it went

iiiiiiii've got sixty nine ways to make you cum...


to me


whatever happened to those guys i dont know maybe they gave up on music

the show last night was a guy named frankel and i got to the show just in time to see the last minute of his last song. i heard he did a kazoo solo but i might have been being lied to. the last song i liked! he rocked!

_{EDITORS NOTE:; but then the other week i saw a show by him and he really sucked. he had hired this guitarist who was like some rockabilly and it was everyones opinion that he looked foolish. then the guy frankel did play a kazoo and it sucked. also the drummer was waving around some WHIP TUBE that made an annoying whizzzing noise i was like wtf is that noise and then noticed the dickhead drummer waving that whiptube. stupid. it sucks.}

the next band that played was parson red heads. i had a problem with them because there were too many people in the band like a guy just hitting tamborines and wearing shorts, which are 4 children. they were all dressed in white like a cult and they had red flair. like a red scarf or a red guitar. but there were also too many guitars there were 4. here is AT LEAST who they should kick out of the band:

-the guitarist (the husky one)
-the tamboarine kid
-the short chick who played keyboards /also tamborine

that still leaves you with 3 guitarists and one of them can take over keyboard duties come on. also i feel that minimizing...

-actually kick out the guitarist with the beard too

having less members- especially 2 not 4 guitarists- will minimize tendency to jam (shitty jam), which there was a lot of. but im going to overall give this band a positive review because they had good energy and played well and some parts were good.

_{EDITERZ NOTE::; i saw these guys the other week at the Sun Set Junction and they were pissin me off. they still havent kicked anybody out of their band yet and they had big signs that said T HE PAR S O N RED H E A DS across the stage. are they siblings? if these guys are all siblings their parents must wish they could be retroactively aborted. talk abt a boring gimmick. playin ur music. dressed in ur flair. havin a good time. i'm glad somebody is. get rid of extraneous dingbats and do something interesting. im not distracted enough by the colors Red and White to not notice you got no good songs. dress in Invisible so i dont have to look at you lol}

i went and sat in a booth with my friends and we were looking at the viper room logo on a card on the table and it was a snakewoman with a top hat on and smoking and she had a curly snake tail. i didnt notice it was a woman at first but just saw the top hat and smoking and snake and i said that is Slash. my friend said YEAH YOU CAN ALWAYS RECOGNIZE SLASH BY HIS CURLY TAIL like he was making fun of me. but i thought the snake tail indicated slash because he was in a group called slashes snake pit.


this was weird cause i didnt even know the next band mezzanine owls was actually the band that made up the snake pit of slashes snake pit they were slashs band. they played the show and the singer said thanks to frankel and the parson red heads theyre fuckin great. i was like right on. they rocked! EDTS NOTE; [[[not!]]]] the Owlz were drinking a lot, which i was too. i got the 400 dollar table service with jim beam everybody got a glass and we

man


the next



th ne


the next band was the hymns they were good. the guitar player was soloing a lot and he was wearing a v neck shirt. the singer was wearing a tank top. this i dont like but they're nice guys who really know how to party hard so im gonna let it slide and give them a overall positive review. they jammed with the crowd on the tamborines that were laying around everywhere from the parsons red heads. the one parson redhead chick was actually laying tambourines like eggs [or shitting them. /////THEY PRACTICALLY SHIT TAMBOARINES///] in the booth she was sitting at. everybody had a tambourine it was something else. they played a really good show i did like them a lot i think! but i was really wasted.





cncncncncncncnnnnn v bee

this week on raw a great wresler named chris benwa died in his home so if you are a fan of his please read this he was found in his home dead along with his son and wife it was a sad day and if u care please support wwe and watch it on tv show your support also i remembered all of his matches and when he won the championship belt at wreslemaina 20 in 2004 its been on the news and i hope the wwe will remain strong and its sad because we lost 2 great wreslers eddie gurrerro and chris benwa i will continue to watch wwe as long as its still on tv and paper view hopefully you will do the same thank you


Chris Benwa Tribute R.I.P.


Re: The Chris Benwa Tribute

↓↓↓↓↓↓
Saturday saturday saturday JUNE THIRTIETH [30th] there's is a show i am going to go to probably at the echo its for the band tigers can bite you i have liked listening to this band for a while but never have seen them. i havent seen any of the other bands so i dont know if their good the show cost $7 or $5 with the flyer



i dont know where you can get the flyer but i have emailed the band and asked if you can just print it out from your computer i will let you know when they get back at me

CHRIS

Labels: chris benwa, the echo, tigers can bite you, tradegy, wresling

A few years ago i posted my favorite video on the internet which is


Some Kid | Won't Get Fooled Again

I went and checked up on his youtube page ((NewKeithMoon/I didnt know youtube had user-page/profiles))

Kid is awesome.

Age: 16
Country: Germany
Interests and Hobbies: Play the drums

Even has another video who are you /rulez

So i'm looking over his page and i see this comment-


"Ahh, a Keith Moon enthusiast. Keith Moon or as I call him "King of the Quarter Note" is not to impressive, and neither is what you are doing. All you are doing is improving everything. Wait a minute you're just making stuff up. Like most people who play drums on this website. If you search "Drum Solo" everything will be improved and awful. IMPROV IS HAVING A SET RHYTHM OR RUDIMENT AND APPLYING IT TO DIFFERENT DRUMS! YOU PEOPLE JUST PULL SHIT OUT OF YOUR ASS!

One rudiment can be play tons of different ways and morons can't even use creativity. Here's an example of varations of a paradiddle

Paradiddle
Double Paradiddle
Flamadiddle
Double Flamadiddle
Inverse Paradiddle
Double Inverse Paradiddle
Inverse Flamadiddle
Double Inverse Flamadiddle
And forever goes the list...

Then you can apply a rudiment between drums, and then you can apply between cymbals, and then between the floor units and it's endless possibilites."

so im like who the fuck is the douche whats his problem? i went to his youtube page and this is what I see


Douchebag Idiot | Whistling, Aint even that good at it

So then i see his other videos and it looks like he's in a band. I click on the thing and see him sitting at the drums im like ok dude you talked a bunch of shit to Who Kid lets see what you got


...


MAN THIS SUCKS! HOW YOU GOING TO CRITICIZE WHO KID DRUMMING BILLY JOEL CANT EVEN DRUM, MAN, YOUR SKILLS ARE POOR


chris newcomer, violations bureau 2007

Labels: drumming awesome, drumming poor, fucked up shit, keith moon, the who, who kid

CITGO CHANGING NAME

Subject: CITGO CHANGING NAME...this is serious.

Americans...make sure you read this e-mail.

NEWS FLASH:

Chavez is NOW getting a Russian Weapons Factory built by Putin.

NEWS FLASH:

The RUSSIANS are building an AK-47 Kalashnikov Assault Rifle factory in Venezuela, to give armament support to Communist Rebel groups throughout the Americas.

NEWS FLASH:

Chavez NOW has IRANIANS operating his oil refineries in Venezuela for him. It is likely only a matter of time, if not already, before Chavez has Iranian-built LONG RANGE missiles, with a variety of warhead types aimed at:

GUESS WHO?

CITGO is NOW in the process of Changing Its Name to PETRO EXPRESS due to the loss of gasoline sales in the USA due to the recent publicity of ownership by Chavez of Venezuela.

Every dollar you spend with CITGO or PETRO EXPRESS gasoline will be used against you, your basic human rights, and your freedoms. Chavez will start wars here in the Americas that will probably be the death of millions of free people .

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT because Chavez is starting to feel the loss of revenue from his holdings. HE OWNS CITGO. This is a very important move that everyone should be aware of.

ANNOUNCED JUST RECENTLY, CITGO, BEING AWARE THAT SALES ARE DOWN DUE TO U.S. CUSTOMERS NOT WANTING TO BUY FROM "CITGO-CHAVEZ", HAVE STARTED TO CHANGE THE NAME OF SOME OF THEIR STORES TO: "PETRO EXPRESS"

DO NOT BUY FROM "PETRO EXPRESS" EITHER!!!

"PETRO EXPRESS" IS ALSO 100% OWNED BY "CHAVEZ."

KEEP THIS MEMO GOING SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPENING.

BOYCOTT "CITGO" AND "PETRO EXPRESS".............

MAKE SURE THIS IS PASSED ON TO EVERYONE YOUR YOUR E-MAIL LIST IN THE UNITED STATES AND OUTSIDE OF AMERICA


CHAVEZ | Break Up Your Band


Unreal is Here

~Violations Bureau's Chris Newcomer feat. Robert Newcomer, King of E-mail Forwards~

Last thursday, Autolux reminded me why they are probably the best band on this planet, and I do thank them for that. Shit is so 100% Correct makes you want to bug their rehearsal space.


Play 23 Watt Apple Juice. 23 Watt Apple Juice...

I was also reminded, thanks to last thursday's show's opening band [not the pity party- they are excellent], about boredom, which in terms of live music, is personally irritating to me. We will discuss.

For me to go watch your show, it means I have to do two things, neither of which is necessarily desired or preferable-

<sub>1- I must leave my house.

2- I must pay attention to you.</sub>

If I have done these things, and you are boring, it means one of two things-

<sub>1- You don't realize you suck, and therefore have no taste in music.

2- You do realize you suck, and therefore have no shame.</sub>

Now, there is a lot of stuff you can do to try and disguise the fact that your band sucks. Take, for example, this band who opened for Autolux at last Thursday's show at the Glass House in Pomona. The last time I saw them, about 3 years ago, they were also opening for Autolux. They were a three piece, with the drummer singing. She sang like Nico. One dude played guitar. The other dude played bass, guitar, and computer. It was alright, it sounded like futuristic Nico, except less interesting. So now, I guess the bass/computer/guitar player has left, and they've got a New Lineup!!!!

The singer no longer plays drums, except when she does. Now she stands up and plays keyboards. The guitarist still plays guitar, except now he shreds. They got a new chick drummer. They also got a bass player. Now the drummer gets up and plays the flute, and the singer goes and sits down at the drums to remind us she can drum. The guitarist shreds. Now the bass player switches intruments with the flute-playing drummer, and the drummer/floutist plays bass. The guitarist shreds. The bassist/guitarist and drummer/floutist are now playing keyboards. The singer sings, drums, plays the keyboards, the drummer plays the flute, the drums, backup vocals, keyboards, the bassist keyboards, fluteboards, guitar, violin saw, jugband, shredding guitarist, gospel choir, the guitarist shreds, singin' like Nico, keytar, barking dog choir, harmonica, harpsichord, harmonium and the shredding guitarist.

I don't care if you can play 4 instruments and even play them well. If you can't use your skills to write a song that I can remember, you suck and I am bored, and all the instrument switching in the world can't hide this. You aren't fooling me, you are honing and intensifying my irritation. Here's an idea- switch your instruments with Autolux so we can get on with the show.

There's just so many ways to cover up the fact that your band aint got no songs. Instrument switching, high energy frenzy, low energy posturing, costumes, uniforms, between-song banter, jamming, shredding, wailing, volume, pedals, lighting, props, crap. You've got to be careful with these things. Misused, used inappropriately or incorrectly, they will backfire, and simply serve to make your shortcomings more obvious- sometimes glaringly so. I would love to call out a handful of bands on this nonsense, but I was advised this weekend by a trusted Advisor that I should not hate on local bands. Though it possibly calls into question the entire premise of this site, I think it's a wise rule of thumb, so I will now and henceforward refrain.

↓

So after that Autolux show I hightailed it back from Pomona to L.A. and caught the end of Elf Power. /Ruled. Ended the show with "Needle in the Camel's Eye." Eno. /Rulez.

Then saw Bedtime For Toys on Saturday. Lots of /hottness on stage and also rapping. Was a good and fun show! Had to leave early tho to feed a kitten with a bottle. I am calling him KEVIN but that name will apparently be changed when he is given away to my friends cuz I can't keep him. Here he is being rotisseried over a spit.




:.::.:::c:::..::n::v:b::::..

Labels: autolux, bedtime for toys, elf power, gratuitous instrument switching, in waves, no shame, no taste, the conversation

... and of course, when i say "You", what i really mean is "Us".

time to get stoked! not only is the VB celebrating The Month of CN And JT Joining Forces About Two Years Ago At An Autolux Show, but it also looks like someone has made a movie about my life, and the magical adventures i go on almost everyday. i'm not really sure who made the movie, but looks like some pretty famous people are in it, and i'm genuinely touched that someone would go these extremes to honour my as-yet-brief, but nonetheless remarkable life on this planet. way to commemorate me! i'm so touched- this looks like it must have cost literally hundreds of millions in cold, hard $$$$$CAS$$$HHHHH$$$$$$$$$. i hope the CGI is good. anyway, the movie is about me and my trusty animal sidekick Alexius.

on the off-chance that you don't agree that i am noble, couragerous, stealthy, cunning, deadly, powerful, sexy and striped like A Tiger, my advice to you would be to go blow some monkeys back in your homeland of Douchebagistan. just do it. in fact, i heard you're not even from the main city of Douchebagistan, but rather the small, decrepit village of Lame, way out in the sticks. the population in the village of Lame has been in steady decline for years now, since everyone there seems to be afflicted with a mysterious Gheyness that won't go away. just last week, the UN unanimously vetoed a resolution to grant Douchebagistan a financial aid package consisting of my leftover springrolls and the remainder of a cigarette i smoked when i was drunk. initially, the package was going to include an old granola bar (peanut butter), but due to unforeseen circumstances (i got hungry), those resources had to be diverted elsewhere (my stomach). sorry about that.

anyway, if you think my trusty animal sidekick should be something other than a tiger, after you've blown the monkeys you can fill in this here form and inform me of your opinions, which i'll proceed to ignore, or at least indefinitely file away somewhere.



oh shit, looks like Bedtime For Toys are going to slay some asses tomorrow night! cinco de mayo yeahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

this post in homage to john riccardi, who is and shall remain my feudal lord for all eternity.

<sub>hom·age n
1. a show of reverence and respect toward somebody
2. allegiance or a formal public acknowledgment of allegiance on the part of a vassal toward a feudal lord</sub>

so, so much love to you all that it's almost unfathomable,
disdainfully yours,

/ :jt: | of | the | :vb: \, the 1st and Last.

Labels: bedtime for toys, douchebagistan, gheyness affliction, the golden compass

There's pins in my needles to even drive to Pomonia this evening to see my Favorite Living Band. Thats them ↑ Got some new members gonna rock 2x harder. WAIT. CAN YOU BRING ROCK TO THE GLASS HOUSE? I mean because////: It's glass. And you cant


throw stones(?) in


it


/oh that is poor

NO MATTER

If you're too much of a sissy to make a 40 minute journey, never fear. You can see Elf Power at Spaceland, which I would definitely do otherwise.

Last time I saw autolux was like 2 years ago when they opened for the great Shellac, which is, INcidentally, where i met JT. Young Tarma was living with the Inside Rocker at this time. TREACHERY AND TREASON LOL! No, no no. Now settle it down I am joshing you. But really. It is at this fateful meeting that An Alliance was formed. An alliance TO DESTROY. This alliance was named ALLIANCE PROTEIN LABORATORIES. Eleven months later, after having created No Protein (and what for?), VIOLATIONS BUREAU.NET, A REDUNDANT LINK TO THIS VERY SITE was born.

Success is not yet, but imminent. I am not even concerned about like rock Insider's finding out our plan. she ain't even link to this mug can you blee' dat? (editor's note- yes. you basically hacked into her site and posted inflammatory things w/out permission.)

Moving on ↓

Saturday at the Scene in Glendale



Attendance Is Mandatory

I actually like The Scene, too.


Elf Power | Never Believe

chris newcomer | allied protein labs bureau of violations

Labels: autolux, elf power, failure to synthesize protein, rock insider, shellac, the glass house

^{The Broken West Knight meets The Pity Party, gives props}^

Last night was the Last Night of the The Black Pine's residency at The Echo. If you missed this, probably not much was missed, because they are really, almost offensively, boring. Listening to them now, I wish I wasn't. Which is why when we went to the Echo last night, it was the plan to see their opening bands, and not necessarily them.

Why do they get a residency? Someone school me. It seems there has been a lately ongoing trend of really dreadful or at least questionably good bands being awarded residencies, then getting really good opening bands (bands that are way better than them) to open for them on any given Monday. Show up for the openers, leave for the headliner. Why is this? If your band sucks, don't get booked supporting bands that are so obviously better than you. Don't you want to not be embarrassed and shown-up at your Own Residency? Admittedly I have no idea how shows get assembled or by whom IM JUST SAYING.

Case in Points → Last night, where Eagle and Talon and The Pity Party increasingly Killed It. Tho i wish the Eagle Talons reign in some of the Screaming and temper the frenzy with some Vocal Melodies or Hooks here and there.


The Pity Party opens for *Autolux, with Midnight Movies on Thursday at the Glass House in Pomona, where I have been personally invitated to attend with special VIP Passes and Backstage Laminates its going to /rule.

_↓↓May Residencies in L.A._↓↓

Sasha @ Spaceland
The Dr. Fad Show Theme Song Band @ The Echo
Morningwood @ The Silverlake Lounge



The Dr. Fad Show Theme Song Band | Dr. Fad Theme

*_{Live @ the Double Door in Chicago, 5|11|05}

‾‾___cnvb__‾‾

Labels: autolux, dr. fad, eagle and talon, morningwood, sasha, the black pine, the pity party

Times are bad, real bad. I was really hoping not to have to write this mellow-harshing Blood Brothers review that I said I might write. It was going to be called “Trash-Flavoured Trash”, and lo and behold, it is. What a sad day. What is music the world coming to when I’m left with no choice but to write this shit? Man, I just really thought.... oh, wait. I just changed my mind about something. This isn’t a bad review of the Blood Brothers show, it’s actually an extremely fucking shitty review of the poor quality of sound engineering I’ve experienced recently. This will be far more pertinent and wide-ranging to the issue at large. “Pertinent” and “wide-ranging” are both good things, as demonstrated below:

<sub>per·ti·nent adj
relevant to the matter being considered

wide-rang·ing adj
1. dealing with a great variety of matters
2. affecting a large number of people or things

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.</sub>

Just so you know, the World Dictionary inserted itself in there without me doing anything, so I guess now we’re clear on who has rightful ownership of those words. Thank you, Dictionary, for loaning me those words for the duration of this post, as well as putting a firm end to any foolish, copyright-related delusions I may have had regarding ownership and usage of the English language.

Anywhoo, here’s a rundown of my week so far:

Making an assload of money, always- 85%
Horrific dismay- 10%
Bitter disappointment- 5%

I’m going to go ahead and fully utilize the 5% margin of annoyance that the show has provided me with. It’s just incomprehensible to me that, of all places, the city of Los Angeles should be afflicted with this epidemic of mediocre sound. Isn’t this place supposed to be some beacon of excellence when it comes to the technical matters of Light and Sound in the entertainment industry? Out of everywhere in the world, I would think this would be the place where it wouldn’t be hard to get a decent sound guy. Why is it that when I go to see a band at a major venue, I can’t reasonably expect it to sound halfway acceptable? I mean, all I’m asking is that the designated Sound Person for the evening somehow make the band sound decent. It’s not like I’m asking them to slay a dragon with a mythical sword, which they forged with their own bare hands from a rare compound of titanium and ground up fairy skeletons. NO. Jesus. Just make it sound good, OK? Please? Or even “not like ass” would be an improvement. Thanks.

Moreover, I thought the general vibe in the music industry right now was that we’re actively trying to get away from The Manufactured Pop Product That Everyone Is Sick Of Anyways, and more into the territory of Live Bands. I hate to be an asshole, but when everything sounds like a gigantic pile of ass, well, that’s going to seriously impede the alleged sweet return of rock and roll, and bullshit Money Rock will continue to prevail. God, I’m getting so annoyed just thinking about this now. I had this idea that this write-up should be way longer and a lot more comprehensive, but I’m totally running out of steam on this topic. So in conclusion, let’s all join forces in the noble fight against shitty sound. Motivation, people!

In other, unrelated news, I was kind of bummed to find out recently that this girl I know is pregnant. And to make matters worse, she's extremely stoked to be having a baby. Normally, if anyone I know gets pregnant I’m like, “Haha! Better you than me, jackass!” But for some reason this particular piece of news made me feel like complete shit. Or, to be more precise, it made me feel like there was some huge point that I was missing. A lot of people I went to school with (let’s call them “my peers”) have been getting engaged/married/pregnant recently, further heightening my growing sense of alienation from the vast majority of these people. “My peers”, I mean. It’s like they belong to some society, and you only get to be a member if you care about shit like working at a law firm, and being engaged to someone who works at another law firm, and preferably makes more money than you do. And then you can get Platinum Membership at this society if you’re able to provide proof of Golf Club Patronage and or/Yacht Ownership. So basically, I don’t even want to be in their shitty club, because it’s full of accountants and their boring fiancés, but I’m still annoyed not to be included. But still, let’s hope everything works out great for Pregnant Girl, because it would be totally uncool to wish something bad on a person that hasn't even been born yet. Yes, only the Unborn are safe from my anger and bitterness.

In further unrelated news, I attended the Eagle And Talon and Pity Party show last night. I’d arranged to meet some people at the show, and this was successfully accomplished. I also saw a bunch of people I knew but didn’t really want to talk to right then, and I cunningly managed to avoid having to deal with them face-to-face. So on the whole, the night was a resounding success. I rule!

/ jt |$| vb \

Labels: blood brothers, eagle and talon, mediocre sound, The Manufactured Pop Product That Everyone Is Sick Of Anyways, the pity party, the unborn

The crowd greet Bjorn, John on Empire Polo Field after their set.

Well, the Violations Bureau here has been covering this years Coachella festivity all weekend, bringing you the latest and greatest play-by-play and daily reviewing recapture of the mighty event. From Rage Against the Machine and Jesus and Mary Chain reunions and a bunch of other












people were there


other shit



blah blah












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Labels: coachella, peter bjorn and john, who cares

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Labels: coachella, dj tiesto, ghostface killah, kings of leon, new pornographers

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Labels: bjork, coachella, peaches, silversun pickups, total recall

^{Postioning ur friend if u love them.}
This afternoon I had to drop off my car at the mechanic. The problems are many and all must be fixed.

1.) brakes- fix them lol.
2.) coolant- theres a leak. find this. plug its ass up. i need my engine to stay cool the heat is a killer i mean come on my car will blow up.
3.) horn- change la cucaracha tuning from E to G because I am a G.
4.) NoS- theres a leak. find this. put cork in it.
5.) CO2- Can you transfer it directly from my EXHAUSTE PIPE to my mouth like a SIPHON to kill me?
6.) My Shades- can you find them
7.) Parallel Parking- My car can't parallel park itself. I saw that a Lexus can. Can you install Bombs in all Lexus' that come into your mechanic shop?
8.) The Engine- Put it in my trunk. Under my hood, put a prop engine that shoots out at you/crushes you when you open the hood. or a hangar to house remote-controlled drone aircraft 4 spying
9.) Voltronization- Make my car able to combine w/ other volvos to form A DROID. I'll form THE HEAD lol.

When I was finished with that I walked. I stopped at BBCs and tried on some hats and suits and disguises but didn't buy anything because I can't afford it. I walked and walked and even saw a pregnant lady whos stomach was out. Then I finally sat down and was to get the bus.

The last time I rode a bus, the bus had a little plazma screen flat tv on it. I thought it might be broadcasting something germaine like the local news or weather, but it was Skateboard Bloopers set to hardcore music. Like people flying through the air and splitting their nuts on a railing or getting their heads cracked open. Also there was a man that was talking to himself and a lady with a sack of potatoes and a small nude boy with flies on him and a bomb on the bus and a dead man who told no tales.

So I was not looking froward to this bussing but could not walk from Echo Park to K-Town and live so I was bussed and this time there was no TVs. When I got home and off at my bus-stop there was a person laying on the sidewalk. He has been there for 2 days now, just laying on his back with his arms crossed and like mouth open. he looks like Delroy Lindo but like this. Like dead. I wish he would get away. I'm getting really sick of him.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC, 1896↓↓↓↓

I found a lot of old discs of music I used to Listen to when i was 13 or 11 or younger. Below are all the discs and my ratings.

Alice in Chains Dirt 10.0
Alice in Chains Jar Of Flies 10.0
Candlebox Candlebox 10.0
Collective Soul Collective Soul 10.0
Foo Fighters Foo Fighters 10.0
Green Day Dookie 10.0
Hum You'd Prefer an Astronaut 10.0
Nine Inch Nails Pretty Hate Machine 10.0
Nine Inch Nails Broken 10.0
Nine Inch Nails Fixed 7.0
Nine Inch Nails The Downward Spiral 10.0
Nirvana Hormoaning 10.0
Nirvana Unplugged in New York 10.0
Nirvana Insectricide 10.0
Nirvana In Utero 10.0
Pearl Jam Ten 10.0
Pearl Jam Vs. 10.0
Pearl Jam Vitalogy 10.0
R.E.M. Monster 10.0
Silverchair Frogstomp 10.0
Silverchair Freak SHow 10.0
Soundgarden Badmotorfinger 10.0
Soundgarden Superunknown 10.0
Soundgarden Down on the Upside 10.0
Stone Temple Pilots Core 10.0
Tool Opiate 10.0
Tool Undertow 10.0
Tool Ænema 10.0
Ugly Kid Joe As Ugly as They Wanna Be 10.0



\
vb /

Labels: 90s records, delroy lindo, skateboard bloopers, voltron

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since i dont know hardly anything, what i know thats going on tonight that could be good is this:



The Eagle's Talons are really good and this show is supposedly $0.

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